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I retorted by screaming that I hated the ones who hurt me. If felt good to say it out loud, but Jake was not happy. He told me he wouldn't date me with hate in my heart because I would never be free to build a future with him. If you can find a way to free yourself, meet me here at 9:00 pm on the fourth of July. If not, I wish you well, Kimberly. Those were the last words he spoke to me before walking away, maybe walking out of my life for good.~~~I spend the next two days doing something I haven't done over the last year - looking at myself instead of others. I mean really looking at myself. It's hard, you know ... to make that leap ... accepting you are responsible for your life and your choices. It's easier to just wallow in the pain and blame others. My hate was keeping me connected to him I guess. If I am brutally honest, it was a way to keep myself from going through the pain of finally letting go. I see that now. My tears over him turn to tears over myself. The picture that had. Jack is no joke and he's a lightweight. If he would've paced himself the next part probably would've gone smoother. He got sick all over the parking blocks we were sitting on and all over his shirt. Paul starts laughing because now david is my problem because I got him drunk and he had to leave. When I asked if i should take him home, both david and paul shook their head. Damn i didn't think david was capable of that much movement. I said fuck i don't know, maybe i can sneak him into my place for a while maybe as long as he doesn't puke again. Right on cue he retched again. Paul laughed some more and left for work. It was dark by then when i started coaxing him to walk with me. We wandered around for a while so he wouldn't guess where i was actually taking him, but I'm pretty sure I could've dropped him off at the cop shop and he wouldn't notice. When we neared kevins house david slurred where the fuck we going. I told him a friend of ours and left it at that. He seemed satisfied.
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